fun

it's spring break. i want to act like a kid.... or more acurately, a kid with a car and a bank account. I want to go to the beach and I want to drive far away and discover a new place. I want to do a new thing. I don't just want to be free, I want to BE free. I want to read a book with no primary intention of learning... I want to learn new things with no forced intention of fun. I want to love what I'm doing and rediscover the meaning of F U N.

(by the way that's a really weird word... it sounds Chinese)

what to do

What do you do?
I'm holding someone more than me.
A broken embrace would not be a clean cut sever but a shatter.
Dependency by one more than me.
And the less of that more is screaming.
Not a fake scream.
Not a small scream.
A real scream I hear from locked door to locked door.
And the less of that more is crying.
Tears that won't stop,
the sun can't evaporate their bitter taste before it reaches lips
And the less of the more is looking.
Not at what's real.
Not at what's right in front.
But looking at twiddling thumbs and fingernails, because through weep blurred eyes it's all that can be seen.
And the less of the more is grabbing.
Not holding.
Not feeling.
Yes grabbing.
Not items & things & ideals
Yes me. Grabbing me...
And as the less of the more grabs me, screams for me, cries to me, looks to me...
What do you do?
When one that's more than you is only living for you,
When one that's more than you can't move
When one with more answers than you can't get up
What do you do?
and generation cries to generation, what do we do?
Father, what do we do?
Mother what do we do?
And these are the questions that can't be asked.
And these are the questions that can't be answered.
When the one more than you
When the father, when the mother
screams, cries & grabs for you
YOU better have the answer...
the less of the one that's so much more than me now asks
me
what do I do?