alphabet only

I'm a nerd. I am an absolute nerd. I scanned the alphabet in my own handwriting so that I could use it for designs.

So... 7 months and a day since my last post. 7... it's completion. 7 months ago I sat here at this same computer and same sticky, near broken keyboard that I've had since 6th grade... and I was a different person.

I needed a break... I guess. I forget how it feels to feel... or how it feels to feel a certain way. Some days I think it's good... other days I know I left a second love, but have not yet returned to the first.

I want to feel again... love again... write again. I sit here now writing choppy phrases that mean nothing to most. I've become more of a rational mastermind, computer geek, analytical pessimist, math brain... whatever you want to call it. I'm different and I don't know if I like it. I'm growing up and I don't know if I like that either. Where is the girl who dreamt of ..... where is the girl who dreamt? at all?

I used to write pages a day. My journal now is kept for strictly notes... when i have time to take them... when I'm not lost behind a computer and projector.

I need some scribbles in my life...some real life crossed out, hand-written words.... but...

all I can manage is an alphabet.